Saturday, November 18, 2006

Teeny-Tiny NaNo snippet

Yes, I'm horribly behind the NaNo word count. No, I'm not terribly concerned. However, spurred on by the Great Galloping Aussie's NaNo excerpts, here is a tiny, tiny bit of what I've been working on. It's very rough, but I'm working on NOT editing super hard-core as I go along. It's driving me nuts, but I'm working on it.

*Be forewarned, this is a very gritty tale, so if violence bugs you, don't read on*



What’s left of Jason Parker can be found at an abandoned farm twenty-eight miles northwest of Phoenix. His body is just outside the barn, close to a patch of cholla and prickly pear cactus. The ants have already started in on him. There won’t be much left if he isn’t found in the next few days or so. The desert is always hungry and doesn’t like to let anything, especially dead things, go to waste.

I watched him die. I stayed and watched him bleed out onto the hard-packed dirt, waiting for him to hurry up and get it over with.

When someone gets shot on t.v. or in a movie, they usually fall down and die. Bang, bang, you’re dead. That’s not how it happens in the real world. Jason didn’t fall down when the 9mm round ripped through his belly. Not right away. And he didn’t just kick it either. It took him eighteen minutes and forty-one seconds to die. Almost twenty minutes of listening to the whistling sound of air sucked into lungs that couldn’t keep up and watching his hands try to keep his organs from sliding out.

I’m not sure what I think about that. Jason Parker was a murderer and he deserved to die, but Christ that was a hard way to go. I thought I would be the one to pop him. I wanted to be the one. I put a lot of effort into the plan. That’s not how it went down, though. But now, crouched over the meat that used to be Jason, it’s not so clear-cut.

10 Comments:

At 2:39 AM, Blogger Amra Pajalic said...

Can relate to the crappy Nano wordcount. Still, not fussed. My only priority is to get back in the groove and hopefully now my life will settle enough to do that.

I love your excerpt. Gritty and a fabulous hook. Definitely want to read more. PS Love the purple hair.

 
At 8:55 AM, Anonymous Steve said...

Blew his a** away. Down and dirty, but like you said, not down right away. Good on you, Angie

 
At 9:02 AM, Blogger Stephen Blackmoore said...

Beautifully written. Can't wait for the hardcover. And don't worry about the word count. The important thing is that you've got your ass in the chair and you're moving forward. Way to go.

 
At 9:51 AM, Blogger dink said...

dang blasted blogger is hatin'me this morning.

3rd attempt~

Nice!

The writing, not the subject matter which I think is handled just right (at least from what I can tell from this teensy bit ;-)

 
At 9:06 PM, Blogger angie said...

Thanks everyone - gonna need some heavy editing overall, but I'm diggin' the story.

BTW, this section is NOT the start of the book. And there are actually quite a few funny bits...just not in this part. Okay, the humor is pretty dark, but it's humor nonetheless.

So I'm moving forward, slowly, but surely.

 
At 9:54 PM, Blogger anne frasier said...

ooh, NICE!!!!

love it, angie!!!

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger Trace said...

I like it. A lot.

 
At 3:06 PM, Blogger Christian said...

Potent, gritty, great stuff. Keep it up.

 
At 9:43 AM, Blogger Brett Battles said...

very cool, angie...keep going!!!

 
At 9:45 PM, Blogger Daniel Hatadi said...

Nice work. The writing has a great rhythm. Especially liked: "the whistling sound of air sucked into lungs that couldn’t keep up".

 

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